Extraordinary

I do not desire to be ordinary. To embrace complacency and the mundane life. To embrace life yes, but a life that is full. Full of what? Of love and adventure. Joy and trials, shared alongside those I share life with. To live every day that my maker gives me on this earth with a fervor that rivals the pounding of the incoming tide on the shores of the sea. Do I desire to much? I question this quite often, not knowing if my desires are unrealistic or unattainable. I have always been told to dream big, to aspire great things to happen and they will. Or so I have been told. But what if that is not true? What if it is all a dream we are led to believe that will never come true.What happens when our expectations do not measure up with the reality we are presented with? What happens when discontentment settles in and begins to resonate deep within the crevices of our lives until we begin to sink under its suffocating grasp? What do we do? How do you respond? I am about to enter into my last semester as an undergrad. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone and that this is the beginning of the end.That all I have come to know and to love will soon change once again. I have realized that I disdain change. It takes me quite some time to grow truly comfortable in my environment only to have it blown away in the fleeting change of the wind. I run from change and cling to what I know. There is comfort and security in it. I have a familiar acquaintance with it that I am not willing to give up without a fight. But that is not what my God calls me to. It is not how he calls me live. Granted, he gives us the gift of security and comfort when he deems best at various times in our lives. But he calls us to live by faith and to trust Him for all things and in all things.To depend on Him, not only in words but in deeds. It is so easy to pay service with our lips but never show the evidence of a changed life and a changed heart. I yearn to be used for the glory and honor of His name. What will this cost? I dare say that the cost will be great, but the reward will be far greater. What am I willing to give for the sake of His name? What am I willing to give? To let go of my dreams, of myself is no easy thing. But that is what He asks, does he not? I am beginning to realize this all anew and to trust Him for his provision in things. That He will place me where He wants me and that He will use me accordingly. Obedience and a willingness to be used. I am excited to see how He moves.

Conclusion

Today marked the end of the semester. Papers, projects and my single exam are all completed. I hardly know what to do with myself. It all went so quickly. To quickly for my liking. Everyone warned me far in advance that senior year would fly by before I could blink- the truth of their warnings continue to buzz in my ear. I do not think I am ready to graduate. I am not ready to move on with life. Not yet. I am just getting comfortable with where I am, but nothing good can last forever. We have the seasons of our lives for a reason, the challenge is living life to the fullest in the here and now, rather than in the past or the future. Christmas is soon approaching and I could not be more excited! Memory making with family and friends- sign me up! I will attempt a cookie-making extravaganza here in the far near future. We shall see what occurs. Trying to downsize in the anticipation of things yet to come. I have so many things! So many things that I do not need, but simply have because I have been lead to believe that I cannot live without them. Oh consumerism. Carrying on with responsibilities that come with life. Paying bills and scheduling work-trying not to overbook. I am really bad at time-management, and a horrible procrastinator. Not a good combination as a student, but life continues to march on in spite of this fact =) It has been rainy here in the windy city the last several days-not quite cold enough for snow, yet. I dream of a white Christmas home amongst my loved ones. We shall see indeed what the Lord provides. Praying about opportunities for after graduation, teaching at an international school or going to grad school? Prospects are exciting and terrifying at the same time. Much wisdom is needed indeed to make the right one! I have no fear because I know that God will lead me as He sees fit. It is the whole waiting process that can be tricky! =) I ran my first race this weekend with five of my closest girls here at school. Such a blessing! We died half the time, but it was something I will always remember! I hardly know what to do with myself since I don't have anymore homework at the moment. Reading for fun will be nice. Well, I am simply rambling at the moment, I am sure that more profound entries will follow in the far near future.

=)

Happy Monday all!